Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online

Team Leader Clearance:
Number of Service Services:
Secret Society Missions
Computer Phreak
Death Leopard
Corpore Metal
Frankenstein Destroyer
Free Enterprise
Pro Tech
Sierra Club

Your Mission

The Computer has generated the following mission for your team. It has been carefully designed to ensure the maximum safety and satisfaction for your team.

Paranoia is the Irrational Fear Someone is Out To Get You

(Fear) Dominant type of fear to install in the PCs: Alpha Complex is just a simulation; nothing is physically real.

(Irrational) General kind of weirdness or irregularity that prompts The Computer to assign a mission to the Troubleshooters: The Computer has decreed a new holiday with odd customs and practices, and everyone knows about it but the PCs.

(Someone) Person, people, organization or agency responsible for the situation: A senior CPU efficiency consultant, who overreacted in imprudent ways in an effort to get proper paperwork filled out. (The identity of the Someone need not be obvious at the mission's outset, and in fact things may play out more appropriately if the Someone is not discovered until late in the proceedings.)

(Out To Get You) General apparent threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: The "Someone" believes (accurately?) the PCs are assassins sent to kill him; he tries to kill them first. Meanwhile, the PCs must complete their mission. The threat is a lie.

(Out To Get You) General real threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: A biological agent will transform or devastate the PCs or a large population. The Computer sends in the Troubleshooters as guinea pigs.

Mission Alert: A polite INFRARED mess hall grease trap cleaner acting as a courier delivers alert hardcopy; seeks 10cr 'tip' for the delivery. Briefing location is wrong. The information is obscured by advertising (pop-up ad, jingle, viral marketing, etc.). Sponsoring advertiser may possibly have record of unaltered alert.

Briefing: Briefing is in Museum of Famous Forms. Briefing officer whispers the briefing to the team leader and then expects him to pass it on in the style of Telephone or Chinese Whispers.

This Mission: Investigate accusations of GREEN Vulture Squadron flybot repair tech planting evidence against BLUE (sadistic hindrance, drugged (thymoglandin, hydropsionic acid)).

Outfitting: PLC: "The PLC Paperwork Shuffle": Different batches of forms required to obtain each individual type of standard equipment. In triplicate.

Debriefing: The debriefing officer stands behind a massive, blast-shielded podium flanked by blue Vulture troopers with plasma generators, while the PCs sit in brilliant interrogation spotlights that look disconcertingly like bullseyes.

Find weird phrasing, clearly erroneous output, or other signs of filthy commie mutant traitor sabotage? Copy the offending passages and email them to the High Programmer for investigation.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online is based on the Mission Blender included with the Paranoia XP GM's Screen, published by Mongoose Publishing Ltd., and is provided here with the permission of the copyright owners. Copyright © 1983, 1987, 2004 by Eric Goldberg & Greg Costikyan. PARANOIA is a trademark of Eric Goldberg and Greg Costikyan. All rights reserved.

Paranoia XP is fun. Other games are not fun. Buy Paranoia.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online software was developed by Alan De Smet. Find bugs, weird language, or error messages? Want to chat about the Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online? Email me.