Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online

Team Leader Clearance:
Number of Service Services:
Secret Society Missions
Computer Phreak
Death Leopard
Corpore Metal
Frankenstein Destroyer
Free Enterprise
Pro Tech
Sierra Club

Your Mission

The Computer has generated the following mission for your team. It has been carefully designed to ensure the maximum safety and satisfaction for your team.

Paranoia is the Irrational Fear Someone is Out To Get You

(Fear) Dominant type of fear to install in the PCs: The PCs have enough resources but too little time to win.

(Irrational) General kind of weirdness or irregularity that prompts The Computer to assign a mission to the Troubleshooters: One kind of technological object (Docbot Model 5 (The bot is bigger than the standard model. Much bigger.) (or bot brain)) is misbehaving.

(Someone) Person, people, organization or agency responsible for the situation: A fleet of warbots reprogrammed by Humanists. (The identity of the Someone need not be obvious at the mission's outset, and in fact things may play out more appropriately if the Someone is not discovered until late in the proceedings.)

(Out To Get You) General apparent threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: Surplus Armed Forces weaponry floods the IR market. Citizens (ORANGE Power Services Battery Backup Replacer (physical threat, stumbling, awkward, prone to breakage); YELLOW historical record corrector (physical threat, drugged (thymoglandin, hydropsionic acid)); ORANGE PLC package retrieval forkbot op (bureaucratic obstacle, dreamy, dazed, probably a Mystic)) happily demonstrate their new armaments in many locations (YELLOW (Tension 10) crowded vidshow entertainment lounge; INFRARED (Tension 1) empty food production area (IR-Y: Food Vats, G-U: hydroponic gardens); GREEN (Tension 11) empty soylent recycling room (near morgue)). The threat is a lie.

(Out To Get You) General real threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: Waste disposal is breaking down; garbage is backing up in the hallways and will soon flood the complex.

Mission Alert: Text message on PDC. Message is intact and correct.

Briefing: Briefing is in cone rifle fuse packing facility. 3 briefing officers behind opaque bulletproof glass, voices electronically filtered.

This Mission: Determine the cause of the recent Infrared riots in YELLOW (Tension 10) empty Vulture Squadron hangar. We suspect someone (An executive at one of the PCs' service firms, who wishes to covertly create the situation in order to procure a fat service-group repair contract.).

Outfitting: C-Bay or other online auction site: Price: +25% over list. Delivery: please allow 24 hours for delivery to PCs' specified address. Drop point is an ambush by Pro Tech thugs; there is no equipment; the PCs regain the money they bid.

Debriefing: Room is fitted with seesaws, with a PC sitting on one side of each and a Blue Trooper with blaster on the other. In the lower position, the PCs are obscured by a charred blast shield. The debriefing officer reads mission details, raising each PC on a note of treason, lowering them on a point of commendation. (This is an experimental HPD&MC psychological exercise intended to encourage loyalty.)

Find weird phrasing, clearly erroneous output, or other signs of filthy commie mutant traitor sabotage? Copy the offending passages and email them to the High Programmer for investigation.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online is based on the Mission Blender included with the Paranoia XP GM's Screen, published by Mongoose Publishing Ltd., and is provided here with the permission of the copyright owners. Copyright © 1983, 1987, 2004 by Eric Goldberg & Greg Costikyan. PARANOIA is a trademark of Eric Goldberg and Greg Costikyan. All rights reserved.

Paranoia XP is fun. Other games are not fun. Buy Paranoia.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online software was developed by Alan De Smet. Find bugs, weird language, or error messages? Want to chat about the Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online? Email me.