Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online

Team Leader Clearance:
Number of Service Services:
Secret Society Missions
Computer Phreak
Death Leopard
Corpore Metal
Frankenstein Destroyer
Free Enterprise
Pro Tech
Sierra Club

Your Mission

The Computer has generated the following mission for your team. It has been carefully designed to ensure the maximum safety and satisfaction for your team.

Paranoia is the Irrational Fear Someone is Out To Get You

(Fear) Dominant type of fear to install in the PCs: The Computer has taken a personal dislike to the PCs.

(Irrational) General kind of weirdness or irregularity that prompts The Computer to assign a mission to the Troubleshooters: One kind of technological object (miniature 2 Combots (The bot is bigger than the standard model. Much bigger.) (prone to kamikaze attacks)) is behaving far too well.

(Someone) Person, people, organization or agency responsible for the situation: A secret society mission that went disastrously wrong, led by psychotic, kill-crush-smash-destroy. (The identity of the Someone need not be obvious at the mission's outset, and in fact things may play out more appropriately if the Someone is not discovered until late in the proceedings.)

(Out To Get You) General apparent threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: The Computer believes something horrible has happened, but gives the PCs no details, and forbids them to tell anyone for fear of starting a panic. The threat is a lie.

(Out To Get You) General real threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: A minor malfunction in RED (Tension 5) empty IntSec interrogation room may grow into a major problem. The PCs must fix the malfunction and deal with the problems already created. The "Someone" doesn't want the team to succeed, and is actively working against them.

Mission Alert: Text message on PDC. Briefing location is wrong. The information is replaced by extortion threat from anonymous hacker: "Send 100cr to this Gray Subnet account and I'll send you the data."

Briefing: Briefing is in Sewer tunnel. 4 suspicious, twitchy briefing officer(s) in highly defended position (e.g., seated atop a massive gun emplacement) at rear of INFRARED (Tension 3) Program Group lackey for ULTRAVIOLET who is currently the youngest UV citizen in the Complex (probably late teens) meeting room (holds only guards).

This Mission: Deliver this highly confidential package to BLUE HPD&MC Sector Expansion Survey. Make sure no one opens it. (Contains Memories of an Unregistered Mutant Life by Frank-B-HJN-6.)

Outfitting: C-Bay or other online auction site: Price: 30% off. Delivery: please allow 24 hours for delivery to PCs' specified address. Drop point is an ambush by Frankenstein Destroyers thugs; there is no equipment; the PCs lose their money.

Debriefing: Room is sheet steel with a single chair in the center and a large sign: PLEASE SIT DOWN with arrow pointing to the chair. The debriefing officer spends the session pacing around the chair, and (if necessary) discourages PCs from sitting in it. Chair is harmless.

Find weird phrasing, clearly erroneous output, or other signs of filthy commie mutant traitor sabotage? Copy the offending passages and email them to the High Programmer for investigation.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online is based on the Mission Blender included with the Paranoia XP GM's Screen, published by Mongoose Publishing Ltd., and is provided here with the permission of the copyright owners. Copyright © 1983, 1987, 2004 by Eric Goldberg & Greg Costikyan. PARANOIA is a trademark of Eric Goldberg and Greg Costikyan. All rights reserved.

Paranoia XP is fun. Other games are not fun. Buy Paranoia.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online software was developed by Alan De Smet. Find bugs, weird language, or error messages? Want to chat about the Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online? Email me.