Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online

Team Leader Clearance:
Number of Service Services:
Secret Society Missions
Anti-Mutant
Computer Phreak
Death Leopard
Communist
FCCC-P
Corpore Metal
Frankenstein Destroyer
Free Enterprise
Mystic
Humanist
Pro Tech
Illuminati
Psion
PURGE
Romantic
Sierra Club

Your Mission

The Computer has generated the following mission for your team. It has been carefully designed to ensure the maximum safety and satisfaction for your team.

Paranoia is the Irrational Fear Someone is Out To Get You

(Fear) Dominant type of fear to install in the PCs: The Computer has taken a personal dislike to the PCs.

(Irrational) General kind of weirdness or irregularity that prompts The Computer to assign a mission to the Troubleshooters: The Computer has decreed a new holiday with odd customs and practices, and everyone knows about it but the PCs.

(Someone) Person, people, organization or agency responsible for the situation: The 21st-degree leader of the secret society Frankenstein Destroyers, who plans to expand his personal power and the might of his secret-society. (The identity of the Someone need not be obvious at the mission's outset, and in fact things may play out more appropriately if the Someone is not discovered until late in the proceedings.)

(Out To Get You) General apparent threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: A strange new Food Vat slime is causing antisocial and dangerous activity in consumers of Hot Fun. The Computer needs PCs to destroy the slime. The threat is a lie.

(Out To Get You) General real threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: A new mind-control technique will alter the PCs' or a large population's behavior for the worse. The Computer uses the PCs as guinea pigs again.

Mission Alert: Text message on PDC. Recognition password (to be given to briefing officer) is wrong. The information is replaced by extortion threat from anonymous hacker: "Send 100cr to this Gray Subnet account and I'll send you the data."

Briefing: Briefing is in empty living quarters (IR: barracks; R-Y: dormitory; G-B: apartment; I-U: mansion). Officer has serious coughing fit every few words, disrupting every sentence, and becomes increasingly angry with every request to repeat himself.

This Mission: Deliver this highly confidential package to BLUE senior slime researcher. Make sure no one opens it. (Contains sapient, mobile R&D bomb that gloms onto PC's arm.)

Outfitting: Infrared Market: Free Enterprise member "Nathan D," operator of this IR market, is messily killed by rival FreeEnt capo in PCs' presence.

Debriefing: The debriefing officer stands behind a massive, blast-shielded podium flanked by blue Vulture troopers with plasma generators, while the PCs sit in brilliant interrogation spotlights that look disconcertingly like bullseyes.

Find weird phrasing, clearly erroneous output, or other signs of filthy commie mutant traitor sabotage? Copy the offending passages and email them to the High Programmer for investigation.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online is based on the Mission Blender included with the Paranoia XP GM's Screen, published by Mongoose Publishing Ltd., and is provided here with the permission of the copyright owners. Copyright © 1983, 1987, 2004 by Eric Goldberg & Greg Costikyan. PARANOIA is a trademark of Eric Goldberg and Greg Costikyan. All rights reserved.

Paranoia XP is fun. Other games are not fun. Buy Paranoia.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online software was developed by Alan De Smet. Find bugs, weird language, or error messages? Want to chat about the Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online? Email me.