Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online

Team Leader Clearance:
Number of Service Services:
Secret Society Missions
Anti-Mutant
Computer Phreak
Death Leopard
Communist
FCCC-P
Corpore Metal
Frankenstein Destroyer
Free Enterprise
Mystic
Humanist
Pro Tech
Illuminati
Psion
PURGE
Romantic
Sierra Club

Your Mission

The Computer has generated the following mission for your team. It has been carefully designed to ensure the maximum safety and satisfaction for your team.

Paranoia is the Irrational Fear Someone is Out To Get You

(Fear) Dominant type of fear to install in the PCs: Alpha Complex is just a simulation; nothing is physically real.

(Irrational) General kind of weirdness or irregularity that prompts The Computer to assign a mission to the Troubleshooters: The economy has grown even stranger than usual.

(Someone) Person, people, organization or agency responsible for the situation: A senior PLC official, whose division has fallen into strangling bureaucratic torpor and must now be massively overhauled or terminated. (The identity of the Someone need not be obvious at the mission's outset, and in fact things may play out more appropriately if the Someone is not discovered until late in the proceedings.)

(Out To Get You) General apparent threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: An exterior force will conquer Alpha Complex. The Computer dispatches the Troubleshooters to intercept the force. The threat is real.

Mission Alert: Announced over public address loudspeakers. Briefing time is wrong. The information is obscured by advertising (pop-up ad, jingle, viral marketing, etc.). Sponsoring advertiser may possibly have record of unaltered alert.

Briefing: Briefing is in empty dining area (IR: mess hall; R-Y: cafeteria; G-B: dining room; I-U: dining hall). 3 suspicious, twitchy briefing officer(s) in highly defended position (e.g., seated atop a massive gun emplacement) at rear of INFRARED (Tension 1) empty grooming and hygiene station.

This Mission: Investigate mysterious disappearances of citizens in ORANGE (Tension 7) empty hospital recovery room. If they're being captured by Commies, save them. If they're trying to escape Alpha Complex, shoot them.

Outfitting: Infrared Market: An R&D-sponsored market. Every item "improved," although not in a way PCs or marketeers suspect. Costs only slightly above normal.

Debriefing: Room is fitted with seesaws, with a PC sitting on one side of each and a Blue Trooper with blaster on the other. In the lower position, the PCs are obscured by a charred blast shield. The debriefing officer reads mission details, raising each PC on a note of treason, lowering them on a point of commendation. (This is an experimental HPD&MC psychological exercise intended to encourage loyalty.)

Find weird phrasing, clearly erroneous output, or other signs of filthy commie mutant traitor sabotage? Copy the offending passages and email them to the High Programmer for investigation.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online is based on the Mission Blender included with the Paranoia XP GM's Screen, published by Mongoose Publishing Ltd., and is provided here with the permission of the copyright owners. Copyright © 1983, 1987, 2004 by Eric Goldberg & Greg Costikyan. PARANOIA is a trademark of Eric Goldberg and Greg Costikyan. All rights reserved.

Paranoia XP is fun. Other games are not fun. Buy Paranoia.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online software was developed by Alan De Smet. Find bugs, weird language, or error messages? Want to chat about the Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online? Email me.