Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online

Team Leader Clearance:
Number of Service Services:
Secret Society Missions
Anti-Mutant
Computer Phreak
Death Leopard
Communist
FCCC-P
Corpore Metal
Frankenstein Destroyer
Free Enterprise
Mystic
Humanist
Pro Tech
Illuminati
Psion
PURGE
Romantic
Sierra Club

Your Mission

The Computer has generated the following mission for your team. It has been carefully designed to ensure the maximum safety and satisfaction for your team.

Paranoia is the Irrational Fear Someone is Out To Get You

(Fear) Dominant type of fear to install in the PCs: The Computer personally likes the PCs too well.

(Irrational) General kind of weirdness or irregularity that prompts The Computer to assign a mission to the Troubleshooters: The economy has grown even stranger than usual.

(Someone) Person, people, organization or agency responsible for the situation: Everyone in BLUE (Tension 14) MemoMax archive vault is in on it; they want to discredit, destroy, maim and spit on the Troubleshooters. (The identity of the Someone need not be obvious at the mission's outset, and in fact things may play out more appropriately if the Someone is not discovered until late in the proceedings.)

(Out To Get You) General apparent threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: Surplus Armed Forces weaponry floods the IR market. Citizens (INFRARED barracks bedding delouser (information source, gullible (worryingly lacking in paranoia)); INFRARED impact armor tester (sadistic hindrance, psychotic, kill-crush-smash-destroy); INFRARED dud ammo determination tester (bureaucratic obstacle, amicable, self-interested, ordinary)) happily demonstrate their new armaments in many locations (BLUE (Tension 13) empty decaying and pestilential wreck of an abandoned sector: recreational resort (if below Clearance GREEN, roll again); YELLOW (Tension 10) crowded decaying and pestilential wreck of an abandoned sector: HPD & Mind Control storage facility or warehouse; RED (Tension 5) empty elevator (or other small room)). The threat is a lie.

(Out To Get You) General real threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: A geological event will destroy Alpha Complex (shatter it, open it to the elements, turn it into a cheerily warm volcano, etc.).

Mission Alert: Special "breaking news" bulletin in middle of vidshow: boring part. Identifies PCs by name. Message is intact and correct.

Briefing: Briefing is in MemoMax archive vault. 2 suspicious, twitchy briefing officer(s) in highly defended position (e.g., seated atop a massive gun emplacement) at rear of VIOLET (Tension 17) Sewer tunnel.

This Mission: An abandoned RED (Tension 5) packing crate (or other small room) has been infested by Commies. Demolish it, preferably with the Commies inside.

Outfitting: PLC: A single PLC staffer in a broom closet with a pneumatic tube on the side wall. This lone officer is one of the most efficient workers in Alpha Complex; completes all paperwork quickly and throughly. The next time you roll this entry, this staffer has been reassigned or murdered.

Debriefing: The debriefing officer stands behind a massive, blast-shielded podium flanked by blue Vulture troopers with plasma generators, while the PCs sit in brilliant interrogation spotlights that look disconcertingly like bullseyes.

Find weird phrasing, clearly erroneous output, or other signs of filthy commie mutant traitor sabotage? Copy the offending passages and email them to the High Programmer for investigation.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online is based on the Mission Blender included with the Paranoia XP GM's Screen, published by Mongoose Publishing Ltd., and is provided here with the permission of the copyright owners. Copyright © 1983, 1987, 2004 by Eric Goldberg & Greg Costikyan. PARANOIA is a trademark of Eric Goldberg and Greg Costikyan. All rights reserved.

Paranoia XP is fun. Other games are not fun. Buy Paranoia.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online software was developed by Alan De Smet. Find bugs, weird language, or error messages? Want to chat about the Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online? Email me.