Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online

Team Leader Clearance:
Number of Service Services:
Secret Society Missions
Computer Phreak
Death Leopard
Corpore Metal
Frankenstein Destroyer
Free Enterprise
Pro Tech
Sierra Club

Your Mission

The Computer has generated the following mission for your team. It has been carefully designed to ensure the maximum safety and satisfaction for your team.

Paranoia is the Irrational Fear Someone is Out To Get You

(Fear) Dominant type of fear to install in the PCs: The Commie mutant traitors are losing, and that's bad.

(Irrational) General kind of weirdness or irregularity that prompts The Computer to assign a mission to the Troubleshooters: One or more laws of nature has been altered or revoked. It's light or sound.

(Someone) Person, people, organization or agency responsible for the situation: A secret society mission that went right, led by paranoid with stun gun (stuns for one round) and kevlar armor (13). (The identity of the Someone need not be obvious at the mission's outset, and in fact things may play out more appropriately if the Someone is not discovered until late in the proceedings.)

(Out To Get You) General apparent threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: Waste disposal is breaking down; garbage is backing up in the hallways and will soon flood the complex. The threat is a lie.

(Out To Get You) General real threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: Surplus Armed Forces weaponry floods the IR market. Citizens (YELLOW sector chemical hazard assayer (indifferent bystander, gullible (worryingly lacking in paranoia)); INFRARED drug therapy results assistant (information source, psychotic, kill-crush-smash-destroy); BLUE drug therapy allocator (indifferent bystander, paranoid with force sword (S3K energy) and battle armor (6))) happily demonstrate their new armaments in many locations (YELLOW (Tension 9) map room for several sectors; ORANGE (Tension 7) empty FunBall arena (or other large room); BLUE (Tension 13) outside Alpha Complex dome ).

Mission Alert: Text message on PDC. Briefing time is wrong. The information is missing, replaced by [INSERT DATA HERE] or similar. Secret society contacts or servile truckling to The Computer may fill in missing data.

Briefing: Briefing is in IR market. Briefing officer is hiding inside an empty Cold Fun barrel and passes written notes out to the PCs through a small bunghole.

This Mission: Neutralize INFRARED vulture weapon practice assistant (bureaucratic obstacle, paranoid with truncheon (S5K impact), knife (S5K), brass knuckles (S5W), or any other low-tech melee and kevlar armor (13)) in crowded corridor.

Outfitting: PLC: "The PLC Paperwork Shuffle": Different batches of forms required to obtain each individual type of standard equipment. In triplicate.

Debriefing: Debriefing conducted solely by R&D scientists. They ask many questions about equipment, giving the impression the only reason for the mission was to test equipment. After the scientists leave, The Computer covers the treason accusations.

Find weird phrasing, clearly erroneous output, or other signs of filthy commie mutant traitor sabotage? Copy the offending passages and email them to the High Programmer for investigation.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online is based on the Mission Blender included with the Paranoia XP GM's Screen, published by Mongoose Publishing Ltd., and is provided here with the permission of the copyright owners. Copyright © 1983, 1987, 2004 by Eric Goldberg & Greg Costikyan. PARANOIA is a trademark of Eric Goldberg and Greg Costikyan. All rights reserved.

Paranoia XP is fun. Other games are not fun. Buy Paranoia.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online software was developed by Alan De Smet. Find bugs, weird language, or error messages? Want to chat about the Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online? Email me.