Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online

Team Leader Clearance:
Number of Service Services:
Secret Society Missions
Computer Phreak
Death Leopard
Corpore Metal
Frankenstein Destroyer
Free Enterprise
Pro Tech
Sierra Club

Your Mission

The Computer has generated the following mission for your team. It has been carefully designed to ensure the maximum safety and satisfaction for your team.

Paranoia is the Irrational Fear Someone is Out To Get You

(Fear) Dominant type of fear to install in the PCs: The PCs just aren't good enough to handle their assignment.

(Irrational) General kind of weirdness or irregularity that prompts The Computer to assign a mission to the Troubleshooters: One or more laws of nature has been altered or revoked. It's light or sound.

(Someone) Person, people, organization or agency responsible for the situation: A fleet of warbots reprogrammed by Death Leopard. (The identity of the Someone need not be obvious at the mission's outset, and in fact things may play out more appropriately if the Someone is not discovered until late in the proceedings.)

(Out To Get You) General apparent threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: Essential life-support services will break down. The Computer sends the Troubleshooters to enforce order and restore services. The threat is real.

Mission Alert: Text message on PDC. Briefing location is wrong. The information is obscured by advertising (pop-up ad, jingle, viral marketing, etc.). Sponsoring advertiser may possibly have record of unaltered alert.

Briefing: Briefing is in crowded postal sorting room. Briefing officer wears camouflage suit (Experimental R&D equipment; works like Chameleon mutant power; one shot can render it completely useless) and fiddles with an exotic-looking laser pistol (W3K energy) with GREEN barrel; expects attack at any moment.

This Mission: The communications system at ULTRAVIOLET (Tension 20) empty enviro conditioning duct has gone down. Repair it and determine the cause.

Outfitting: PLC: A PLC shop that has none of the equipment needed, but is willing to make strange or incorrect substitutions, could be potentially cool stuff.

Debriefing: Room is sheet steel with a single chair in the center and a large sign: PLEASE SIT DOWN with arrow pointing to the chair. The debriefing officer spends the session pacing around the chair, and (if necessary) discourages PCs from sitting in it. Chair is lethal.

Find weird phrasing, clearly erroneous output, or other signs of filthy commie mutant traitor sabotage? Copy the offending passages and email them to the High Programmer for investigation.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online is based on the Mission Blender included with the Paranoia XP GM's Screen, published by Mongoose Publishing Ltd., and is provided here with the permission of the copyright owners. Copyright © 1983, 1987, 2004 by Eric Goldberg & Greg Costikyan. PARANOIA is a trademark of Eric Goldberg and Greg Costikyan. All rights reserved.

Paranoia XP is fun. Other games are not fun. Buy Paranoia.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online software was developed by Alan De Smet. Find bugs, weird language, or error messages? Want to chat about the Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online? Email me.