Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online

Team Leader Clearance:
Number of Service Services:
Secret Society Missions
Computer Phreak
Death Leopard
Corpore Metal
Frankenstein Destroyer
Free Enterprise
Pro Tech
Sierra Club

Your Mission

The Computer has generated the following mission for your team. It has been carefully designed to ensure the maximum safety and satisfaction for your team.

Paranoia is the Irrational Fear Someone is Out To Get You

(Fear) Dominant type of fear to install in the PCs: The PCs suspect a High Programmer is out to get them.

(Irrational) General kind of weirdness or irregularity that prompts The Computer to assign a mission to the Troubleshooters: One kind of technological object (Communist PDC (activates at random to shout recorded Communist propaganda)) is behaving far too well.

(Someone) Person, people, organization or agency responsible for the situation: A fleet of docbots reprogrammed by Humanists. (The identity of the Someone need not be obvious at the mission's outset, and in fact things may play out more appropriately if the Someone is not discovered until late in the proceedings.)

(Out To Get You) General apparent threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: Waste disposal is breaking down; garbage is backing up in the hallways and will soon flood the complex. The threat is a lie.

(Out To Get You) General real threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: A geological event will destroy Alpha Complex (shatter it, open it to the elements, turn it into a cheerily warm volcano, etc.).

Mission Alert: A drugged INFRARED mess hall grease trap cleaner acting as a courier delivers alert hardcopy; seeks 10cr 'tip' for the delivery. Briefing location is wrong. The information is obscured by advertising (pop-up ad, jingle, viral marketing, etc.). Sponsoring advertiser may possibly have record of unaltered alert.

Briefing: Briefing is in crowded recreational resort (if below Clearance GREEN, roll again). When the PCs leave the briefing an explosion follows, leaving no evidence of the officer except a large burn mark and melted furnishings.

This Mission: A Vulture Squadron has been infiltrated by no less than 19 Commie traitors. Remove them; ensure they fall in the line of duty, so we can honor them as fallen heroes.

Outfitting: C-Bay or other online auction site: Price: 10% off. Delivery: agreed drop point nearby (ORANGE (Tension 8) outside Alpha Complex dome ), immediate. A rival auction site has insidiously faked the site the PCs intended to use; the transaction goes through the rival site; the delivery is accompanied by a hard-sell pitchman BLUE senior polling consultant (bureaucratic obstacle, drugged (thymoglandin, hydropsionic acid)) who drafts the PCs as promoters for the rival site and won't give them their equipment until they commit.

Debriefing: A cavernous spherical reactor coolant chamber (recently decommisioned) with the PCs securely strapped into dentist chairs at wrist, ankle, waist and chin. The booming voice of the unseen officer echoes from strategically placed speakers.

Find weird phrasing, clearly erroneous output, or other signs of filthy commie mutant traitor sabotage? Copy the offending passages and email them to the High Programmer for investigation.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online is based on the Mission Blender included with the Paranoia XP GM's Screen, published by Mongoose Publishing Ltd., and is provided here with the permission of the copyright owners. Copyright © 1983, 1987, 2004 by Eric Goldberg & Greg Costikyan. PARANOIA is a trademark of Eric Goldberg and Greg Costikyan. All rights reserved.

Paranoia XP is fun. Other games are not fun. Buy Paranoia.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online software was developed by Alan De Smet. Find bugs, weird language, or error messages? Want to chat about the Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online? Email me.