Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online

Team Leader Clearance:
Number of Service Services:
Secret Society Missions
Anti-Mutant
Computer Phreak
Death Leopard
Communist
FCCC-P
Corpore Metal
Frankenstein Destroyer
Free Enterprise
Mystic
Humanist
Pro Tech
Illuminati
Psion
PURGE
Romantic
Sierra Club

Your Mission

The Computer has generated the following mission for your team. It has been carefully designed to ensure the maximum safety and satisfaction for your team.

Paranoia is the Irrational Fear Someone is Out To Get You

(Fear) Dominant type of fear to install in the PCs: The PCs just aren't good enough to handle their assignment.

(Irrational) General kind of weirdness or irregularity that prompts The Computer to assign a mission to the Troubleshooters: Everyone in Alpha Complex behaves in an inexplicably contemptful or disgusted way toward one specific PC.

(Someone) Person, people, organization or agency responsible for the situation: A Death Leopard gang. (The identity of the Someone need not be obvious at the mission's outset, and in fact things may play out more appropriately if the Someone is not discovered until late in the proceedings.)

(Out To Get You) General apparent threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: A strange new Food Vat slime is causing antisocial and dangerous activity in consumers of Hot Fun. The Computer needs PCs to destroy the slime. The threat is a lie.

(Out To Get You) General real threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: A mysterious command makes all autopilot vehicles home in on VIOLET (Tension 18) inside Alpha Complex dome , threatening terrible harm en route; the "Someone" wants a traffic jam there.

Mission Alert: Via telepathic communication from unidentifiable source. The Computer knows nothing of this method, and will regard it with extreme suspicion. Briefing time is wrong. The information is missing, replaced by [INSERT DATA HERE] or similar. Secret society contacts or servile truckling to The Computer may fill in missing data.

Briefing: Briefing is in abandoned firing range in Troubleshooter HQ. Bureaucratic snafu assigns briefing officer to the room below the PCs; won't join PCs for fear of violating orders; shouts at the top of his voice to be heard, or conveys briefing information by notes, courier, Morse code, etc..

This Mission: INFRARED (Tension 2) empty Junior Citizen creche is having problems processing forms. Go help out.

Outfitting: PLC: A Monty Python "Cheese Shop" warehouse; nothing is actually in stock. Staffers are proud of their multiple awards for cleanliness and efficiency.

Debriefing: The debriefing officer sits in complete silence while paging through several thick files, flanked by BLUE Vulture troopers armed with cone rifles. PCs who speak are met with scowls. The debriefing ends without a word.

Find weird phrasing, clearly erroneous output, or other signs of filthy commie mutant traitor sabotage? Copy the offending passages and email them to the High Programmer for investigation.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online is based on the Mission Blender included with the Paranoia XP GM's Screen, published by Mongoose Publishing Ltd., and is provided here with the permission of the copyright owners. Copyright © 1983, 1987, 2004 by Eric Goldberg & Greg Costikyan. PARANOIA is a trademark of Eric Goldberg and Greg Costikyan. All rights reserved.

Paranoia XP is fun. Other games are not fun. Buy Paranoia.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online software was developed by Alan De Smet. Find bugs, weird language, or error messages? Want to chat about the Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online? Email me.