Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online

Team Leader Clearance:
Number of Service Services:
Secret Society Missions
Computer Phreak
Death Leopard
Corpore Metal
Frankenstein Destroyer
Free Enterprise
Pro Tech
Sierra Club

Your Mission

The Computer has generated the following mission for your team. It has been carefully designed to ensure the maximum safety and satisfaction for your team.

Paranoia is the Irrational Fear Someone is Out To Get You

(Fear) Dominant type of fear to install in the PCs: The PCs are themselves the greatest threat to Alpha Complex.

(Irrational) General kind of weirdness or irregularity that prompts The Computer to assign a mission to the Troubleshooters: Mysterious duplicates or analogues of the PCs or other ULTRAVIOLET heading to a briefing room (sadistic hindrance, drugged (thymoglandin, hydropsionic acid))s are active in Alpha Complex.

(Someone) Person, people, organization or agency responsible for the situation: The Computer-or, if it makes more sense, a paranoid with hand flamer (S3K energy) and jet suit (Experimental R&D equipment, aerodynamic suit with jetpack) ULTRAVIOLET who blames PCs for his treasonous acts manipulating The Computer's local CompNode. (The identity of the Someone need not be obvious at the mission's outset, and in fact things may play out more appropriately if the Someone is not discovered until late in the proceedings.)

(Out To Get You) General apparent threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: Surplus Armed Forces weaponry floods the IR market. Citizens (RED sector hallway cleanliness inspector (bureaucratic obstacle, dreamy, dazed, probably a Mystic); INFRARED impact armor tester (indifferent bystander, quietly delusional); YELLOW R&D weapon calibrator (information source, drugged (thymoglandin, hydropsionic acid))) happily demonstrate their new armaments in many locations (ULTRAVIOLET (Tension 19) empty bathroom (change Tension level to 20); BLUE (Tension 13) crowded Technical Services cloning facility (well guarded); RED (Tension 5) crowded IntSec interrogation room). The threat is real.

Mission Alert: Text message on PDC. Briefing location is wrong. The information is missing, replaced by [INSERT DATA HERE] or similar. Secret society contacts or servile truckling to The Computer may fill in missing data.

Briefing: Briefing is in Sewer tunnel. Officer skims through the entire briefing as if he expects those present to know all details already, then walks out without allowing questions.

This Mission: An R&D genetic experiment is running loose in YELLOW (Tension 9) abandoned and forgotten portal to the Outdoors. Neutralize it before it causes too much damage. If it talks to you, ignore it.

Outfitting: PLC: "Please Observe Silence" sign on the wall. Anyone who speaks gets bumped to the end of the line. All negotiations must be written.

Debriefing: The debriefing officer stands behind a massive, blast-shielded podium flanked by blue Vulture troopers with plasma generators, while the PCs sit in brilliant interrogation spotlights that look disconcertingly like bullseyes.

Find weird phrasing, clearly erroneous output, or other signs of filthy commie mutant traitor sabotage? Copy the offending passages and email them to the High Programmer for investigation.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online is based on the Mission Blender included with the Paranoia XP GM's Screen, published by Mongoose Publishing Ltd., and is provided here with the permission of the copyright owners. Copyright © 1983, 1987, 2004 by Eric Goldberg & Greg Costikyan. PARANOIA is a trademark of Eric Goldberg and Greg Costikyan. All rights reserved.

Paranoia XP is fun. Other games are not fun. Buy Paranoia.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online software was developed by Alan De Smet. Find bugs, weird language, or error messages? Want to chat about the Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online? Email me.