Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online

Team Leader Clearance:
Number of Service Services:
Secret Society Missions
Computer Phreak
Death Leopard
Corpore Metal
Frankenstein Destroyer
Free Enterprise
Pro Tech
Sierra Club

Your Mission

The Computer has generated the following mission for your team. It has been carefully designed to ensure the maximum safety and satisfaction for your team.

Paranoia is the Irrational Fear Someone is Out To Get You

(Fear) Dominant type of fear to install in the PCs: The PCs are themselves the greatest threat to Alpha Complex.

(Irrational) General kind of weirdness or irregularity that prompts The Computer to assign a mission to the Troubleshooters: Mysterious duplicates or analogues of the PCs or other RED industrial plant office worker (indifferent bystander, stumbling, awkward, prone to breakage)s are active in Alpha Complex.

(Someone) Person, people, organization or agency responsible for the situation: An R&D experiment that went right, created by paranoid with stun gun (stuns for one round) and prismatic armor (Experimental R&D equipment, E4, mirrored suit reflects energy attacks, wearer is most visible target around). (The identity of the Someone need not be obvious at the mission's outset, and in fact things may play out more appropriately if the Someone is not discovered until late in the proceedings.)

(Out To Get You) General apparent threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: The "Someone" believes (accurately?) the PCs are assassins sent to kill him; he tries to kill them first. Meanwhile, the PCs must complete their mission. The threat is a lie.

(Out To Get You) General real threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: Waste disposal is breaking down; garbage is backing up in the hallways and will soon flood the complex.

Mission Alert: Via a small metallic can that bleeps constantly (the Computer claims it's extremely important) smouldering wreckage. Briefing location is wrong. The information is obscured by advertising (pop-up ad, jingle, viral marketing, etc.). Sponsoring advertiser may possibly have record of unaltered alert.

Briefing: Briefing is in Armed Forces dome defense turret (defense position on the outer dome). Briefing officer is hidden inside a Jackobot chassis, communicating with an electronically filtered voice.

This Mission: IntSec has been infiltrated by no less than 15 Commie traitors. Remove them; ensure they fall in the line of duty, so we can honor them as fallen heroes.

Outfitting: PLC: Empty office. Door is open. No security (Tension level 0). PCs may take what they want, but have to find it themselves and fill out proper paperwork. If the paperwork isn't filled out, the items are reported stolen. May be interrupted by IR market thieves, passing looters, etc.

Debriefing: A pitch black room, with dim light filtering in under the entrance door. Unsettling clicking noises, like a trigger being pulled on a jammed gun.

Find weird phrasing, clearly erroneous output, or other signs of filthy commie mutant traitor sabotage? Copy the offending passages and email them to the High Programmer for investigation.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online is based on the Mission Blender included with the Paranoia XP GM's Screen, published by Mongoose Publishing Ltd., and is provided here with the permission of the copyright owners. Copyright © 1983, 1987, 2004 by Eric Goldberg & Greg Costikyan. PARANOIA is a trademark of Eric Goldberg and Greg Costikyan. All rights reserved.

Paranoia XP is fun. Other games are not fun. Buy Paranoia.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online software was developed by Alan De Smet. Find bugs, weird language, or error messages? Want to chat about the Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online? Email me.